There’s a great, simple phrase to use for anyone looking to persuade others. In fact, it’s so easy it’s hard to believe it isn’t used more often (then again, it might lose its power). The phrase is, “But you are free.”

PSYBlog explains it:

This simple approach is all about reaffirming people’s freedom to choose. When you ask someone to do something, you add on the sentiment that they are free to choose.

By reaffirming their freedom you are indirectly saying to them: I am not threatening your right to say no. You have a free choice.

The exact words used are not especially important. The studies have shown that using the phrase “But obviously do not feel obliged,” worked just as well as “but you are free”.

What is important is that the request is made face-to-face: the power of the technique drops off otherwise. Even over email, though, it does still have an effect, although it is somewhat reduced.

I’ve always believed that freedom is the best way to keep someone. Consider this: If someone gave you complete freedom to do what you want, wouldn’t you stay with that person as opposed to being controlled by someone else? Autonomy is an amazing aphrodisiac.

Give it a shot. Include “but you are free” when putting up a persuasive argument, and let me know in the comments how it worked for you.

(h/t to Farnam Street. Image via Flickr: AskMeAboutLoom/Creative Commons.)