giving – Jason Hensel

I work in an industry that places a high value on face-to-face interactions, which made me more attuned to Amanda Palmer‘s recent TED talk, “The Art of Asking.” What struck me was the natural notion of making a human connection to receive and give.

“…through the very act of asking people, I’d connected with them, and when you connect with them, people want to help you” she said.

In the industry I’m in, this is most often accomplished through a format called an “un-conference.” Basically, people gather in small groups to discuss problems and search for solutions to challenges. As you can guess, it’s quite popular, primarily because it’s interactive and because of the face-to-face networking.

That networking is nothing, though, if you’re afraid to ask for help. I think that’s why smaller groups work so well. A large, lecture-style situation is intimidating, whereas, a small group gathering is comforting.

Technology is helping this process, Palmer says. Sure, we may be part of a large group, but the weird thing is that we can feel connected more than ever using the Internet. Maybe it’s just me; I feel like I have more of a chance of communication with a celebrity (use that term loosely) through social media than I do at a huge event.

“Celebrity is about a lot of people loving you from a distance, but the Internet and the content that we’re freely able to share on it are taking us back,” Palmer said. “It’s about a few people loving you up close and about those people being enough.”

Technology can only go so far. It’s a means to an end, and that destination is face-to-face interaction.

“Now, the online tools to make the exchange as easy and as instinctive as the street, they’re getting there,” Palmer said. “But the perfect tools aren’t going to help us if we can’t face each other and give and receive fearlessly, but more important, to ask without shame.”

This brings me to my main point: There’s no reason to meet face-to-face if we’re passive in our interactions. The days of lecture learning are waning. We’re not going to solve problems, find solutions, or change directions if we’re just sitting, nodding our heads and crossing our arms. To me, that’s Palmer’s main point. Even if she is focusing on music, the overall soul of her speech is about enacting change in giver and receiver. That can’t be accomplished by one party being passive. Both need to be active.

Please watch her TED talk, and let me know what you think about it in the comments below

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Paying it forward is a great concept and one that should be practiced more often. However, it’s more common to find people repaying greed with greed.

“The idea of paying it forward is this cascade of goodwill will turn into a utopia with everyone helping everyone,” said lead researcher Kurt Gray, PhD. “Unfortunately, greed or looking out for ourselves is more powerful than true acts of generosity.”

The study, published online in the American Psychological Association’s Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, is the first of its kind to examine the notion of paying forward generosity, equality, or greed.

“The bulk of the scientific research on this concept has focused on good behavior, and we wondered what would happen when you looked at the entire gamut of human behaviors,” said Gray, an assistant professor of social psychology at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, who conducted the study with researchers at Harvard University.

According to the study:

In five experiments involving money or work, participants who received an act of generosity didn’t pay generosity forward any more than those who had been treated equally. But participants who had been the victims of greed were more likely to pay greed forward to a future recipient, creating a negative chain reaction. Women and men showed the same levels of generosity and greed in the study.

In one experiment, researchers recruited 100 people from subway stations and tourist areas in Cambridge, Mass., to play an economic game. They told participants that someone had split $6 with them and then gave them an envelope that contained the entire $6 for a generous split, $3 for an equal split, or nothing for a greedy split. The participants then received an additional $6 that they could split in another envelope with a future recipient, essentially paying it forward.

Receiving a generous split didn’t prompt any greater generosity than receiving equal treatment, but people who received nothing in the first envelope were more likely to put little or nothing in the second envelope, depriving future recipients because of the greed they had experienced. The average amount paid forward by participants who received a greedy split was $1.32, well below an equal split of $3.

The results confirmed the researchers’ hypothesis that greed would prevail because negative stimuli have more powerful effects on thoughts and actions than positive stimuli. Focusing on the negative may cause unhappiness, but it makes sense as an evolutionary survival skill, Gray said. “If there is a tiger nearby, you really have to take notice or you’ll get eaten,” he said. “If there is a beautiful sunset or delicious food, it’s not a life-or-death situation.”

The study also examined whether people would have similar reactions involving work rather than money. In one online experiment, researchers told 60 participants that four tasks needed to be completed, including two easy word association games and two boring, repetitive tasks that involved circling vowels in dense Italian text. They explained to the participants that someone had already split the work with them, leaving them the two fun tasks in a generous split, one fun task and one boring task in an equal split, or both boring tasks in a greedy split. The participants then had to complete those tasks and split an additional four tasks with a future recipient. The results were the same, with greed being paid forward more than generosity.

“We all like to think that being generous will influence others to treat someone nicely, but it doesn’t automatically create a chain of goodwill,” Gray said. “To create chains of positive behavior, people should focus less on performing random acts of generosity and more on treating others equally — while refraining from random acts of greed.”

(Story materials from the American Psychological Association. Image via Flickr: Scabeater / Creative Commons)

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Jason Hensel

Passivity Kills Face-to-Face Meetings

Greed Is More Often Paid Forward Than Generosity