There’s a person with the same first name as Long Division who reminded me the other night that I haven’t been updating my blog. She spoke the truth, as you can tell.

When I get back from my upcoming trip that starts tomorrow, I’ll get back on the daily posting wagon.

Handshake? Good.

When did Eddie Van Halen start composing porn film music?

From the recent AVN Awards (propably dont’ want to look at that site at work, unless you get to work from home, you lucky bastard):

Best Music – Sacred Sin (Ninn Worx), Eddie Van Halen and Loren Alexander

Oh, here is the story.

Eddie, you’ve just upped your cool factor by one.

Some stories for discussion, if you wish, all from The New York Times.

• Fifty-one Percent of Women Are Now Living Without Spouse
• A New, More Accessible T. S. Eliot
• The Voices in My Head Say ‘Buy It!’ Why Argue?

It’s that time of year again when I start thinking of getting my master of arts degree in English.

Since I work full time, I’d love to find one that can be completed online. I’ve searched and searched, and I’ve come up with one program. At Morehead State University in Kentucky. Online gradute program in English.

This looks to be a pretty good program, but what I want to know is why is there only one? It seems like English would be very easy to teach online. Nowadays, people can get upper level degrees in business, engineering and nursing. NURSING! Surely, teaching English has to be easier than teaching nursing online.

If anyone knows of more online graduate English programs out there, please let me know.

I’ve already taken the first step and purchased a GRE for Dummies book.

Geoff Johnston gave my band some recognition in this week’s Dallas Observer. He names us as one of five local bands to look forward to in 2007 in his article, 5 x 2 = 10.

Being up front: I know Geoff. I’ve known him for almost 10 years. He started writing for the Observer last year and he had a personal rule that he wouldn’t write about his friends’ bands. I think it’s a good rule; still, it’s nice to see him relent a little and do the same thing other writers at that paper have been practicing for years.

Here’s what he wrote.

Ashburne Glen

Full disclosure: Awhile back we used to work at the Borders on Lovers Lane and Greenville Avenue with Jason Hensel, who until recently was the sole driving force behind mope-folk band Ashburne Glen. He swears up and down that it’s not a solo or singer-songwriter project, but that gloomy blend of Joy Division and Elliott Smith (with requisite minor-chord atmosphere and faux Brit accenting to match, natch) is pure Hensel. For years Ashburne Glen struggled with varying lineups and juggled various players, until a core unit finally materialized in 2006. Roommate/drummer Eric Grubbs and bassist Joshua Warr (Blackheart Society) brought fistfuls of thunder to accompany the blistering fretwork of Lance Pilgrim, singer-songwriter/guitarist for the Shapes and longtime OG (“Original Glenster”). Hensel may have had to relinquish some of the Glen’s more frail and dainty qualities, but in return he gets to front a pretty slammin’ rock outfit that’s starting to build some substantial steam.

Around March, I decided to read a book a week this year. I’m happy to report that I’ve reached that goal and even went over by one (maybe two if I finish Jack Kerouac’s The Dharma Bums by Sunday, which is totally possible).

Here is the list of books I read this past year.

13: A Journey Into the Number by Jonathan Cott
A History of the the World in Six Glasses by Tom Standage
A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Averno by Louise Gluck
Biginning with O by Olga Broumas
Black Zodiac by Charles Wright
Break, Blow, Burn by Camille Paglia
Constance by Jane Kenyon
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Diving Into the Wreck by Adrienne Rich
Geek Love by Katherine Dunn
Gilgamesh by Stephen Mitchell (translator)
Hapax by A.E. Stallings
Jacklight by Louise Erdrich
Kicking the Leaves by Donald Hall
Late Wife by Claudia Emerson
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Mercy by Lucille Clifton
Notable American Women by Ben Marcus
Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
Regarding Wave by Gary Snyder
Rhyme’s Reason by John Hollander
Saturday by Ian McEwan
Silk by Alessandro Baricco
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Songs of Experience by William Blake
Songs of Innocence by William Blake
Stars Which See, Stars Which Do Not See by Marvin Bell
Surviving the Moment of Impact by T. Cole Rachel
Swithering by Robin Robertson
The Apple that Astonished Paris by Billy Collins
The Art of Writing: Lu Chi’s Wen Fu by Lu Chi (translated by Sam Hamill)
The Baby Jesus Butt Plug by Carlton Mellick III
The Coma by Alex Garland
The Death of Ahasuerus by Par Lagerkvist
The Driver’s Seat by Muriel Spark
The Dumb Waiter by Harold Pinter
The Final Solution by Michael Chabon
The Game by Neil Strauss
The It-Doesn’t-Matter-Suit by Sylvia Plath
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
The Misanthrope by Moliere
The Night Abraham Called to the Stars by Robert Bly
The Odyssey by Homer
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
The Shape of Things by Neil LaBute
The Way Water Moves by John Brehm
The Whitsun Weddings by Philip Larkin
Two Trees by Ellen Bryant Voigt
Walking to Sleep by Richard Wilbur
What’s the Matter with Kansas? by Thomas Frank
Without Blood by Alessandro Baricco

I know it’s been awhile since I rapped with y’all, so to make up for my silence, I offer you my favorite rock/pop songs of 2006. I’ll make a CD-R of this collection, and if anyone would like a copy, please feel free to contact me via the comments section.

I originally had some songs on here that I thought were from 2006, but in fact, were from 2005. I must have heard them in late 2005 and thought they were from this year.

This list, though, is all 2006 and in no particular order (and it won’t be the order on the CD either).

“Did I Step on Your Trumpet?” by Danielson
“Loaded” by The Idle Hands
“Sea Foam” by Land of Talk
“Roscoe” by Midlake
“Prenzlauerberg” by Beirut
“The Wonder” by Figurines
“Van Helsing Boombox” by Man Man
“Furry Animal Furry” by Serenaide
“The Idea of Growing Old” by The Features
“Advice for Young Mothers to Be” by The Veils
“Sister Winter” by Sufjan Stevens
“Dog Problems” by The Format
“Sexy Back” by Justin Timberlake
“Whoo! Alright – Yeah … Uh Huh” by The Rapture
“Young Folks” by Peter Bjorn and John
“Ain’t It Strange” by Dr. Dog
“Piano Man” Ghostland Observatory
“Rod Stewart” The Lovely Features

I’m constantely fascinated by the unveiling of fake authors and/or stories. This past year has uncovered such fakes as J.T. LeRoy, Nasdijj, and James Frey.

Now, it appears that extremely popular author Augusten Burroughs is a fraud as well. If this accusation turns out to be true, will the book industry throw a sheet over the whole “memoir as a first book” practice? I surely hope so.

Scissors author accused as a fraud
By Carol Beggy & Mark Shanahan, Boston Globe Staff | December 5, 2006

Sure, A Million Little Pieces author James Frey is a fraud, but Augusten Burroughs is an even bigger phony. So says Buzz Bissinger, who blasts the best-selling author of Running With Scissors as a complete impostor in the new issue of Vanity Fair.

“I don’t know how [Burroughs] lives with himself,” Bissinger told us yesterday. “Running With Scissors contains little strands of fact that were wildly embellished, and if you take those away, you don’t have much of a book.”

Bissinger’s story, on newsstands next week, includes interviews with the Turcottes, the real-life western Massachusetts clan with whom Burroughs lived as a teen and who are characterized as more than kooky in the book. The family, which is suing Burroughs for defamation, claims he fabricated much of the memoir. (Burroughs has denied that, but wouldn’t talk to Bissinger about the suit.) Theresa Turcotte says her family debated whether to sue Burroughs.

“If you’re Clint Eastwood or Barbra Streisand or somebody else, you can just intimidate the [expletive] out of [a publisher],” she says. “But when you’re us, what are we going to do . . . go over and say, ‘You know, you hurt our feelings?'”

Bissinger, who wrote Friday Night Lights, believes Burroughs betrayed the Turcotte family.

“They took him in and did their best, and he turned around and wrote about them in the most vile way possible,” he said. “It’s totally gratuitous.”

Digging around some CDs last night, I came across a burned data CD full of Word documents from a few years ago. One of the documents was a short piece I wrote for the literary magazine I used to edit. This piece is probably more interesting for those who like and follow poetry. As I’m starting to get back into writing and submitting, this blast from the past shows me that I still hold onto the same basic beliefs concerning the poetic arts.

Here is my short “Editor’s Note” from Mind Purge in 1999.

The Calm at Century’s Close

The poets I lean toward are accessible and free from academic anchors. However, let us not confuse the term accessible with the word simple. I do not believe that poetry has to be dumbed-down in order to be graspable and relevant to the general public.

Majorities of people, including the poetry-reading public, feel that poetry is work. They believe a poem has to have a set meaning, has to have something deeper than what is on the surface. To them, poems are an either/or situation. They fail to realize that poetry, specifically great poetry, is both an inward and outward experience.

There are many times I read a poem without an understanding of its core meaning. Still, that does not distract me from the beauty of the surface. Great poets create poems beautiful at all levels. Bad poets are ones who push you in the water like a bully, forcing you to fight your way through their setup.

We are now, at the century’s close, at a bypass. It is a pleasant area where readers can experience the many schools of poetry with a single poet, sometimes within a single poem. The most remarkable poets today are not bullyish, but are not lax, either. They nudge, but never push. They tempt, but never coerce. They are as happy to have a poem “to be,” as much as they are to have it “to mean.”

This acknowledgment of the formal roots of poetry by the envelope-pushing poets and the recognition of free verse and experimental poetry by the traditionalists creates a peaceful tranquility.

But what happens after all have shaken hands and agreed to respect and learn from one another? Nothing happens. Nothing happens unless action is taken.

In the past few years, poets have banded together to promote poetry and its benefits. And this crusade has worked, I’m happy to report. But let us not become complacent in our success. If that happens, then we lose all that we have gained.

And this is a where we can learn a lesson from foreign poetry. A majority of foreign poets refuse to let themselves and their readers become comfortable. I believe that some American poets are happy in their sedative ways. Too bad these same poets are the ones in charge of what the public reads.

Thanks to the efforts of people such as Robert Pinsky and the adoption of a National Poetry Month, poetry is in an exciting time now. All schools of poetry have come together to promote poetry, and the playing field is pretty much even. But art is never static. After the changeover to a new century, there will be, there must be, a new wave of barrier-breaking poets to challenge the calmness of today’s verse. This is a good thing, for poetry needs a constant shift of ideologies if it is to make an impression on the general public.

The following poets are, in my opinion, exciting and accessible on many levels. Some may not be “up-and-coming,” but what they write about, and how they write, are great indicators of where poetry may be heading in the future.

A. E. Stallings

Stallings is a classical poet. Not classical in the sense of “out-dated, old farts, writing verse only their friends would understand,” but classical in a sense of clean, well-written, accessible poems that acknowledge both formality and free verse. If we must label, then she would be called an “Expansive poet.” Reading her poems, one gains an understanding that Stallings knows her craft well, and that she knows exactly what she wants to say to a reader. She never belittles the reader with erudite terms; however, she never lowers herself to commonality. She reminds us about choice and its many branches of conclusion.

Ryan G. Van Cleave

Van Cleave is wonderful at writing about the nuances of life. Many times, he amazes me with the surface tensions in his poetry. What we can experience from his verse is the universal feeling of want, need, and acceptance. His subjects say, “I may be a (insert adjective here) person, but I need you to accept me.” Van Cleave mainly writes in free verse with a conversational tone, which brings the reader closer to the subject at hand. It is this closeness that Van Cleave wants a reader to experience.

Wayne Hogan

Hogan surveys life in a way that Charles Simic does. Sometimes his verse is light, sometimes experimental, but never boring. Hogan will play with words and lines in a poem, challenging the reader to keep up. But ultimately, he wants the reader to relax, and let the poem, through a slanted eye, show life. When he is not stretching the limits of a poem or the reader, his verse tends to be calm, authoritative, and objective. Hogan is like a documentary filmmaker whose subjects sometimes call for a fun presentation and sometimes for unobtrusive documenting.

Christopher Brisson

Brisson is a poet who likes to mix pop culture, childhood memories, and fantasy into a mixed stew of verse. His writing is important in that it shows us how much pop culture actually influences our life and how much we acknowledge it. His insight on the subject of influence is fresh, funny, and thought inspiring.

Isabel Nathaniel

Nathaniel’s poems are powerful because of the calm and unobtrusive way she lets her reader discover elements and ideas. Her verse can be described as graceful, confident, and autobiographical, but not confessional. She urges the reader to see life and beauty in all situations.

Tony Hoagland

Hoagland brings spice to poetry by cleverly writing about the complexities of life and how mankind handles them. Much like Christopher Brisson, he draws on pop culture around him, showing us the benefits of loss, and sometimes the curse of triumph.

Ron Koertge

Using humor to lure you in, Koertge will then wallop you with verse that is powerful and honest. The various images he uses to convey his ideas about humanity, in all its forms, can be both fantastical and ordinary. With a great eye for the hidden in all, Koertge guides the reader to look into something and observe what is essentially a beautiful, funny thing.

Dionisio D. Martinez

With intelligent verse, Martinez chronicles the subjects of alienation and cultural identity. He is aware of history, and he uses the past as a way to understand what is happening now. Martinez’s unique voice is no less universal in that all have at one time sensed separation from the world around them and tried to understand the feeling, sometimes failing.

Jack Myers

Like Dionisio D. Martinez, Myers’ is concerned with the past, and like Koertge, he uses humor to draw the reader into the poem. Some general themes of his are the return to childhood, fear of old age, knowing too much, and simplicity. He knows what he wants to say, and when to quit saying it. Sometimes, he can be surreal, but often his poetry is straightforward.

Hugh Steinberg

Though I have only read a few poems of his in various publications, I find myself impressed with his unique voice and images. From what I have read, he appears to be another poet who is trying to identify the present by defining the past. He is definitely someone to keep an eye on in the future.

On Friday, the Plus One and I attended Art Conspiracy II, an event organized to raise money for charity by auctioning off art from some of North Texas’ best and up-and-coming artists.

As mentioned before on this blog, I’m a huge fan of Jennifer Morgan‘s art. Last year, I was outbid for her Art Conspiracy entry. This year, I was determined to win one of her pieces. And win I did. It wasn’t easy (thanks to the lady who kept one-upping me) and it wasn’t cheap (thanks again to the same lady who kept upping the price), but I’m happy with my purchase. Maybe I’ll becoming an art collector instead of book collector now.

Here’s what I bought:

Blogging … it just wasn’t in me this past week. Yes, there were plenty of subjects I could have addressed, such as how I’ve become severely disillusioned with organized religion and how I feel it’s the sole cause of most of the world’s conflicts, or I could have discussed how I’m growing exceedingly frustrated with people who get upset about individual words, about how they can say certain words but other people are not allowed to use those words because that is wrong and makes you a racist or bigot or (fill in the blank here)–give me a break, people, they’re just words. (Yes, I know this puts me in a bind, since I’m also a believer in the power of words; maybe I’m still on this fence about this subject.)

Instead, I rather just stare at this for hours and smile (click on picture).

Since I’ve taken a break from reading several music blogs a day, I’ve found myself more relaxed and happier with music. I still read some music blogs (mainly local ones), but not having to keep up with every new, up-and-coming band has done wonders in lowering my creative stress. And it was a relief the other night to actually discover a band the old fashioned way, via the radio.

Josh from the Adventure Club played a song from Minneapolis-based band The Idle Hands. What interested me at first about the song “Loaded” was its early 1980s retro feel, making me immediately think of the Plimsouls. I’m not certain I still want to compare them to the Plimsouls, but they definitely capture the early 80s sound in the four songs I’ve heard on their Web site. Since I’m big fan of that era of music, it’s no wonder I’m drawn to this band, hoping they make several new fans in the upcoming year.

Here’s the video for “Loaded.” This song will definitely be on my “Top 10 Songs of 2006” list.