Last night, I crashed another art opening. Okay, technically I didn’t crash it. I was invited to it. However, I did partake more than I should have in the free champagne. The guy pouring the juice kept giving me the I-know-what-you’re-doing-and-I-hate-you-and-your-lushy-friends eye. I think he was just jealous that he didn’t get to drink.
Also, I’m beginning to think that I don’t sport cool enough eyeglass frames to attend these art openings. How come everyone at these functions has over-the-top frames? Or maybe they’re just trying too hard to be “arty.”
Overheard at the opening:
“So, do you think this place’s bathroom is poop friendly?”
Male: It looks like a mixture of grapes and pina colada.
Female: What?!
Male: Look…see…there are the grapes.
Female: There are no grapes in that painting. And you’re rude.
Male: Can’t you see…wait! How am I rude?
Female: Pina colada…Jesus…step away from the painting and get another drink.
“So I was at Church’s the other day, and there was no place to sit. My friend and I decided to sit at this big, black guy’s table. And he was all like, Oh is that the way it’s going to be? And we said, It sure is.”
Female: I don’t have your number.
Male: You can find me on Myspace.
Female: Yeah, that’s better anyway.
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you definitely need cool glasses to be able to hold your own at art openings.
I married a boy with cool glasses.
I am also a fan of cool glasses.
Maybe, though, you should stay ahead of the game and get cool sunglasses. You know, future’s so bright–that kinda thing.
Whenever I’m at parties like this, I think of that party scene in Annie Hall with conversations something like this:
“Right now it’s only a notion, but if I can get the funding for it, I can turn it into a concept and then it will become an idea.”